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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (2467)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (6542)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

#18057412
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28286) - you deserved it (3734)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by TitMunch - United States (Maryland)

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

#18039079
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (4797)

On 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML

#18030723
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27711) - you deserved it (2000)

On 10/20/2011 at 11:39am - money - by FATS DOMINO (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (4571)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (2171)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11570) - you deserved it (39438)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

#17751654
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (1839)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:43pm - misc - by poop towel - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (6343)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to close my desk drawer by hitting it with my hip, like they do in the movies. Everything on my desk fell off. FML

#17618685
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9631) - you deserved it (27611)

On 08/30/2011 at 2:30am - work - by rojin12 - United States (Maryland)

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

#17597483
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (4836)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)



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