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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, my little brother got his crush to go out with him by impressing her with his level 500 FarmVille. This is the next generation. FML

#19708903
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (2109)

On 05/31/2012 at 8:43am - kids - by Discouraged - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the person who has been stalking me has also been stalking someone else. I got upset. It seems it took being stalked to make me feel good about myself. FML

#19692066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11095) - you deserved it (16939)

On 05/28/2012 at 2:24am - love - by stalked (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26394) - you deserved it (3000)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was trying to convince my husband to not trim the lower branches of my favorite tree. After pleading my case, I turned around and ran smack into one of said branches. My face and my dignity still hurt. FML

#19636760
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (18268)

On 05/17/2012 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I started my new job. It seems my colleagues are moronic pranksters, because when I leaned back in my chair, the back-rest fell apart and I fell to the ground, to much laughter. My boss immediately shouted at me to "stop fucking about." FML

#19598076
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (1724)

On 05/09/2012 at 4:10pm - work - by dan (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I've now received my 73rd email in two days about my masters group project on policy recommendations for security reform. One group member has helpfully rewritten everything, and our project is now titled "Zeus's Earthly Kingdom." It's due today. FML

#19526549
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (2308)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:25am - work - by IHateGroupProjects (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML

#19505597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (2724)

On 04/21/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I saw an article about how some people think internet access is more important than sex. I asked my boyfriend which he thought was more important. He chose internet access. FML

#19322341
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19655) - you deserved it (6360)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by justwow (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14198) - you deserved it (26464)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

#18875593
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24510) - you deserved it (10228)

On 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm - love - by Scumbagmemory (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

#18715700
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31465) - you deserved it (4057)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)



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