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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50947) - you deserved it (4273)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

#3912171
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52154) - you deserved it (6322)

On 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm - misc - by fatgirl4 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

#3910940
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (7829)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss came to my cubicle to give me my annual performance bonus. I was asleep at my desk. FML

#3645286
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10679) - you deserved it (59906)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by ChrisC (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up some Monistat for a yeast infection. As I was leaving the store, the security alarm went off. The attractive security guard asked to see my receipt, smiled, told me I looked nice, so I handed him the receipt. His face then abruptly changed to a look of disgust. FML

#3511573
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43204) - you deserved it (4346)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:06pm - health - by yeasty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML

#3483352
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38768) - you deserved it (3005)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the love of my life, who I've been going out with for two weeks only, asked me out because he lost a bet. Apparently I'm the punishment for not being able to eat 10 hot dogs. FML

#3053802
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54285) - you deserved it (12401)

On 06/20/2009 at 4:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

#3041162
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49953) - you deserved it (3727)

On 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML

#2968002
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38547) - you deserved it (12575)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

#2919658
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (49300)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad decided to clean out my car and "accidentally" threw away my $520 tax refund check. FML

#2914711
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51200) - you deserved it (6609)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:39pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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