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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, my mother decided she wanted the family to go on a special outing for the holidays. She asked me to drive everyone when she got home from work. Later I noticed the house was empty. The whole family, including the dog, left without telling me. They took my car. FML

Today, I was walking through the mall with my boyfriend of a year and a half. There was sign outside of the jewelry store that said, "Engagement Rings-No interest for 12 months." I said, "Look, baby! No interest." He replied, "That's right...NO INTEREST." FML

#151605
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (36947)

On 02/27/2009 at 10:18am - love - by Ma.Sa.La. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

#114016
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65420) - you deserved it (8895)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by starbird (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my angry ex girlfriend put Nair in my shampoo before moving out of my dorm. I'm now balding at 19. FML

#103083
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45957) - you deserved it (6706)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:57am - love - by lee (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13891) - you deserved it (46872)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went bowling with my mom and she paid for 2 games. By the 6th frame of game 1 she was bored and to get her money back for both games she told the employees I shit my pants. I'm 17. FML

#79689
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (2630)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:47pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML

#69853
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29099) - you deserved it (2837)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

#37065
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9321) - you deserved it (24412)

On 02/13/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by The V Sal - United States (Maryland)

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

#18530
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14368) - you deserved it (29881)

On 02/09/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by Ab (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I am finally dating the girl I have liked on and off for the past year. In the school play. FML

#14837
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (3675)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by u_n0_mE - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

#14158
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21073) - you deserved it (1152)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:39pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

#11033
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24777) - you deserved it (2138)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:30pm - misc - by Fag_Hag (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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