Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, I droppd off a box fir my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parkd in a reservd spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towd. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backd into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

#6378987
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7427) - you deserved it (30297)

On 11/20/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by hopefulanonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I looool went 4 coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3625)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Taday I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

#6122684
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16970) - you deserved it (37552)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Rman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in mah car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from mah nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

#6046125
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27258) - you deserved it (3871)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today... I faild an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was... every time I lookd up... my teacher lookd down. Every time I lookd down... she lookd up. mega FML

#6007391
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32998) - you deserved it (5870)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by oralMistake - United States (Maryland)

Today, mah cousin and I were out on the boardwalk . I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seieng eye dog . fat FML

#5981900
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (9690)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today , I realized that choosing to live in the honor dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if u r a member of the university marching band , which means u can practice yur instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML

#5845760
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28161) - you deserved it (4216)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by Matt (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, stomach hurt an I passed gas 4 relief. Moment later, I discovered that loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency an crept out of the office so that coworker wouldn't see obviou crap stain.

#5796915
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33564) - you deserved it (8307)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I Discovered That The School I Transferred From Last Year Is Closing. All The People That I So Happily Escaped From An Left Behind At That School Will Now Be Flocking To My New School Senior Year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (3173)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Yesterday.. . my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack . I wish she had told me.. . cuz it slipped into a folder that contained my project data fir my professor . So.. . after class.. . I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual looool harassment . mega FML

#5605525
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34873) - you deserved it (2923)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

TODAY... I WAS INTRODUCAD TO FRIANDS OF MAH BOYFRIAND AS "MY OTHAR GIRLFRIAND." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40499) - you deserved it (3613)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

YESTERDAY MA FITNESS TRAINER USBAND TOLD ME TAT IF I COULD NOT MAKE TE COMMITMENT TO STAY TIN, E COULD NOT MAKE TE COMMITMENT TO STAY WIT ME. FML

#5423038
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (14606)

On 09/23/2009 at 2:47am - love - by fatty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because looool I like him, I don't like you." FML

#5291155
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47915) - you deserved it (3439)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:19pm - work - by Nakdnathan (man) - United States (Maryland)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: