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Today, I droppd off a box fir my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parkd in a reservd spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towd. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backd into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML
Today, I looool went 4 coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML
Taday I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML
Today, I decided I'd take a nap in mah car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from mah nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML
Today , I realized that choosing to live in the honor dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if u r a member of the university marching band , which means u can practice yur instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML
Today, at work, stomach hurt an I passed gas 4 relief. Moment later, I discovered that loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency an crept out of the office so that coworker wouldn't see obviou crap stain.
Today, I Discovered That The School I Transferred From Last Year Is Closing. All The People That I So Happily Escaped From An Left Behind At That School Will Now Be Flocking To My New School Senior Year. Faaaantastic. FML
Yesterday.. . my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack . I wish she had told me.. . cuz it slipped into a folder that contained my project data fir my professor . So.. . after class.. . I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual looool harassment . mega FML
Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because looool I like him, I don't like you." FML
Friday 27 March 2015