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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

#6378987
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7367) - you deserved it (30133)

On 11/20/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by hopefulanonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35942) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

#6122684
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16499) - you deserved it (36738)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Rman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

#6046125
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27067) - you deserved it (3853)

On 10/28/2009 at 9:09pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML

#6007391
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32847) - you deserved it (5856)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:46pm - misc - by oralMistake - United States (Maryland)

Today, my cousin and I were out on the boardwalk. I walked to the railing next to a man and said, "Great view isn't it?" Then I found out that the man was blind and had a seeing eye dog. FML

#5981900
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25147) - you deserved it (9474)

On 10/24/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by RC (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized that choosing to live in the honors dorms was a terrible mistake. Quiet hours start at 6 PM and the only exception is if you are a member of the university marching band, which means you can practice your instrument at anytime in the lounge... located next to my room. FML

#5845760
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26128) - you deserved it (4000)

On 10/15/2009 at 7:17pm - misc - by Matt (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, my stomach hurt and I passed gas for relief. Moments later, I discovered that my loose, silent "fart" was actually a wet, sneaky shart. The mess was beyond repair; I had to fake a family emergency and crept out of the office so that my coworkers wouldn't see my obvious crap stain. FML

#5796915
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31714) - you deserved it (8038)

On 10/12/2009 at 2:10pm - health - by Few_Absolutes (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36095) - you deserved it (3166)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

#5605525
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33153) - you deserved it (2749)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (3563)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

#5423038
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40258) - you deserved it (14040)

On 09/23/2009 at 2:47am - love - by fatty (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got written up for not making a drink right. While getting yelled at by my boss, my co-worker made the drink the same exact way I made it. I pointed it out. My boss responded with, "He is allowed to because I like him, I don't like you." FML

#5291155
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47732) - you deserved it (3428)

On 09/16/2009 at 12:19pm - work - by Nakdnathan (man) - United States (Maryland)



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