Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42814) - you deserved it (2702)
On 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I finally confessed to the guy I've liked for 2 years. I told him that I've really liked him for a long time and that I knew he had a girlfriend and I didn't expect anything from him, I just wanted him to know. His response: "Are you done? 'Cause I need to go to the bathroom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43554) - you deserved it (10882)
On 06/09/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by ohwell (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "And she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (2175)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:25pm - kids - by Shelly (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33952) - you deserved it (2945)
On 06/04/2009 at 7:48pm - misc - by fmlprobot (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had the Monday meeting that I have had every week for 8 months. We had new people joining today. One of my bosses went around the room introducing people, and he forgot my name. I've been sitting across from him with a nametag for 8 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35830) - you deserved it (3159)
On 06/01/2009 at 3:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50907) - you deserved it (2373)
On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14106) - you deserved it (46563)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by theskippster - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56365) - you deserved it (3269)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:17pm - intimacy - by boardman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47037) - you deserved it (2415)
On 05/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8454) - you deserved it (34483)
On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43540) - you deserved it (8542)
On 05/06/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6352) - you deserved it (58885)
On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50893) - you deserved it (21054)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
