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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

#7442500
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7906) - you deserved it (25701)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by maximus (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, two weeks after reporting our car was broken into, the police showed up to our flat. They came to inform us that our car was was broken into. We explained that we knew this and reported it weeks ago. Apparently, it was broken into again, and set on fire this time. FML

#7251449
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28594) - you deserved it (1727)

On 01/10/2010 at 2:01am - misc - by zenithbelana (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while my kids were taking a nap in the other room, I masturbated while Dora The Explorer was on. I think I need to get out more. FML

#7229610
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8169) - you deserved it (23144)

On 01/09/2010 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pervert (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (3058)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

#7050852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32539) - you deserved it (4904)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:01am - love - by 12345678 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my ex-boyfriend got high and decided to text all our friends and family the crazy stories about us. He was even nice enough to include pictures. I hear a nude one made it to my Dad. FML

#6961000
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25441) - you deserved it (12044)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:37pm - love - by blahppl14 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I have an Urinary Tract Infection, causing me to have to use the bathroom about every ten minutes. I'm also about to leave on a 15 hour car trip with my entire family. FML

#6949981
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30746) - you deserved it (2243)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:41am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18513) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML

#6900019
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22338) - you deserved it (7925)

On 12/23/2009 at 9:30am - health - by SnowyConcussion (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML

#6839126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6649) - you deserved it (32537)

On 12/20/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I can't get my heat to turn off. It is currently 87 degrees Fahrenheit in my house, and my heat is running non-stop. It's about 20 degrees outside with over a foot of snow on the ground, so a repairman can't come out to fix it. My electricity bill will be about $1000. FML

#6829701
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (3033)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:10pm - money - by heatproblems (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend's mother called me. She assumed that I bought him a PS3 for Christmas, and she and the rest of his family have only purchased him games to go with it. The thing is, I already got him an expensive gift. Now, I have to scramble to come up with the money to get this for him instead, and save the coat I bought for his birthday. FML

Today, after months of constant encouragement from my friends, I went and entered a singing contest. I sang and was booed off stage. Later on I found out my friends lied to me about my ability to sing, just so I could give them a cheap laugh. FML

#6759322
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (5829)

On 12/15/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Dean (man) - United States (Maryland)



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