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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

#13551763
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (36772)

On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

#13536174
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (3552)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:48am - health - by catattack78 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML

#12826114
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25769) - you deserved it (6014)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then tells me that he is cheating on me, that he is dumping me, and that I am fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

#12677000
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37742) - you deserved it (5962)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:28am - work - by jemstuff (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37405) - you deserved it (3203)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (2636)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32415) - you deserved it (3514)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML

#12097143
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25637) - you deserved it (5008)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by blackberrybummer (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

#11998516
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (9297)

On 07/20/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Ugh... - United States (Maryland)

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

#11312975
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (3188)

On 06/19/2010 at 2:53pm - misc - by Classicmen - United States (Maryland)

Today, the supervisory staff at work was changed in my area. The good news? My boyfriend is now my manager. The bad news? My ex, the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, is our supervisor. FML

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

#10645827
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6578) - you deserved it (49879)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:37am - misc - by Candy - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was reading a magazine while straightening my hair. I got really into this one article until suddenly a huge clump of hair fell on it. I looked up and realized I had burned through the layer of hair I was straightening, leaving me with one layer at ear length and the rest at bra length. FML

#10512459
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8320) - you deserved it (42879)

On 05/13/2010 at 7:31pm - misc - by errints234234 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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