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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

#13987730
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31703) - you deserved it (3610)

On 11/26/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by what (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML

#13919837
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8646) - you deserved it (32936)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:39am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to school in my brand new shirt. It was loose fitting and a bit thin, so I wore a sweatshirt on top, intending to take it in once inside. When I got to my seat, I took off my sweatshirt, but also took off my shirt with it, flashing my whole class. FML

#13889988
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26406) - you deserved it (10364)

On 11/18/2010 at 6:12pm - misc - by Amanda Ross - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML

#13577689
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7027) - you deserved it (32190)

On 10/24/2010 at 3:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after a heated debate with my friend on whether blondes are naturally stupid, I convinced her that I'm actually quite intelligent, and poured myself a glass of juice in victory. After finishing the glass, instead of returning the bottle back to the refrigerator, I put it in the cupboard. FML

#13551763
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (35747)

On 10/22/2010 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking down my very steep basement stairs when I fell and rolled all the way down but luckily I didn't hurt anything. While walking back up around the very last stair, my cat jumped out on me, causing me to roll all the way back down. FML

#13536174
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (3452)

On 10/21/2010 at 10:48am - health - by catattack78 (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to play my friends the demo CD that I've spent all summer recording. I didn't tell them it was me. Not even 10 seconds into the first song, my best friend asked me to turn it off because it sucked. FML

#12826114
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (5917)

On 08/30/2010 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work, I stopped in my boss/boyfriend's office to find him getting intimate with a girl. He then tells me that he is cheating on me, that he is dumping me, and that I am fired. Oh, and he is keeping the cat. FML

#12677000
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36726) - you deserved it (5847)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:28am - work - by jemstuff (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

#12624086
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37245) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/19/2010 at 11:48am - misc - by feartheend511 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that my name literally means "burden". This wouldn't be so bad if both my mother and father knew this when they named me. FML

#12596251
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25116) - you deserved it (2603)

On 08/18/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to an elementary school for volunteer work. I was asked to read to a group of kids during one of the classes. Before I started reading, a girl raised her hand and asked me if I had a boyfriend and if I was single. I asked her why and she said "My daddy wanted to know." I'm 16. FML

#12307637
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32282) - you deserved it (3507)

On 08/04/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by LaRae17 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML

#12097143
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25492) - you deserved it (5000)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:57am - intimacy - by blackberrybummer (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML

#11998516
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24852) - you deserved it (9165)

On 07/20/2010 at 4:15am - intimacy - by Ugh... - United States (Maryland)



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