FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

by welcome to the neighborhood / 04/28/2016 at 7:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend, we were stuck behind a 7-car accident for 2 hours in the car. FML

by Traffickills / 04/21/2016 at 8:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, while making small talk with a veteran, I made the mistake of using the phrase "Cost an arm and a leg". He was a double amputee. FML

by Notpunny / 04/18/2016 at 6:58pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was diagnosed with a chronic pain condition. My parents seemed very sympathetic and my mother even cried. When we got home, though, they started laughing and asked if I really believed all the shit the doctor was talking about. FML

by parentalnightmare / 04/16/2016 at 12:13am / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 10:04am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

by foreverAlone / 04/04/2016 at 3:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my sister still refuses to pay back all the money she owes me because she once bought me something from the dollar menu at McDonald's. FML

by anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 12:11am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I found $20 on the ground. I'm so broke, this is the first time in 3 months that I've had any disposable income. FML

by APoorGuy / 03/15/2016 at 8:08am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I came out of the closet, after years of fear and shame, thanks to my mom making me to go to a church full of fundies my whole life. In the end, I was in tears. All I got was a frown and a "So? Want a medal or something?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 8:49am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had some workers come to paint my office building. As a receptionist, it's my job to stock the fridge with soda. I walked into the supply closet just in time to find a worker peeing in a bucket. I stood there for about 10 seconds before I understood what was happening and ran out. FML

by onlyolivia / 02/11/2016 at 2:55pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

by wideeyeddays / 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous