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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Maryland

Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML

#18875593 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (6755) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/21/2012 at 11:17pm - love - by Scumbagmemory (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

#18715700 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (24773) - you deserved it (2747)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (8544) - you deserved it (905)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, a Karate dojo opened under my apartment. It's like living in a Bruce Lee movie. FML

#18516583 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (7216) - you deserved it (811)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by rattlingfloorboards (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (8708) - you deserved it (698)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was over at a friend's house for a party. I was trying to strike up a conversation with one of my cute guy friends, so I showed him this funny picture of me that my friend took. His reply was "Hahahaa those Fatbooth pictures are hilarious!" It wasn't a Fatbooth picture. FML

#18162827 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (4675)

On 11/05/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by sophhiee - United States (Maryland)

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

#18075018 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (7920) - you deserved it (1161)

On 10/25/2011 at 8:02pm - health - by izzy54149 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at my mom's wedding, I tripped as I was walking down the aisle. I was holding the train of her dress. It ripped. FML

#18057412 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (21177) - you deserved it (2310)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:58pm - misc - by TitMunch - United States (Maryland)

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

#18039079 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (17645) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML

#18030723 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (9274) - you deserved it (557)

On 10/20/2011 at 11:39am - money - by FATS DOMINO (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (23131) - you deserved it (3134)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (1391)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (8300) - you deserved it (25859)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)