Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Manitoba

Today, I just spent half an hour cleaning up my little brother's puke after he got drunk for the first time. All the people who bought him drinks are still out partying and having a good time, while all I can smell is whiskey, Chinese food, and whatever else was in his stomach. FML

#7120225
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24370) - you deserved it (2852)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by always-the-responsible-one (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I tripped over a ice block frozen to the ground and hit my knee hard on another. I had trouble getting up, so I asked my dad if he could give me a hand. He started clapping and walked away. FML

#7048794
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (3705)

On 12/31/2009 at 1:23am - health - by .... (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, the new guy at work - who is probably at least ten years older than I am - admired the photo on my desk of myself with my husband and teenage daughters and asked "Are those your grand-children?" I'm in my 40's. FML

#6755152
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23243) - you deserved it (2435)

On 12/14/2009 at 8:30pm - work - by Shalamar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

#6283375
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31086) - you deserved it (3094)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by stubble (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML

#6182912
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (6131)

On 11/06/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Airhead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML

#6106000
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9299) - you deserved it (54209)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by Sam (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

#6002369
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20736) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by kl (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I got fired from my job for not "interacting with customers." That's understandable. The thing is, my job didn't actually include any customer interaction. FML

#5539154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33111) - you deserved it (2822)

On 09/28/2009 at 10:57pm - work - by justfired (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

#5497361
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37584) - you deserved it (3654)

On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I bailed my soon to be ex-husband out of jail after he'd been arrested for soliciting. Soliciting an undercover cop. FML

#4800729
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36422) - you deserved it (6660)

On 08/25/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by singlesoon (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was puked on for the third time in three years at our annual choir concert. What makes it so significant? The fact that the same guy pukes on me every year from stage fright. We're arranged alphabetically, and he's always in the row RIGHT above me. FML

#4313444
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53108) - you deserved it (4258)

On 08/05/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML

#3741978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57652) - you deserved it (4538)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to a family dinner. While waiting to be seated, a guy walked by and I looked to see if he was hot. Then my grandma yelled, "Get your eyeballs back in your head and quit staring at boys!" The whole restaurant heard her. Including the guy. And yes, he was hot. FML

#2826530
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49190) - you deserved it (7797)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:46am - love - by embarrassment (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: