FMLs submitted from Manitoba

Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:25am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

by Nomoreballs / 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

by whattheheck / 06/04/2012 at 12:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 5:45am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

by ouchouchouch / 03/28/2012 at 12:16am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

by isucksomuch / 07/31/2011 at 2:18am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

by Breanne / 07/14/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

by hopeless / 06/27/2011 at 10:09am / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

by duncanisgey / 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals