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FMLs submitted from Manitoba

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8934) - you deserved it (22213)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (1698)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22393) - you deserved it (5915)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32756) - you deserved it (3220)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (2273)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML

#19546385
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10933) - you deserved it (20306)

On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

#19361300
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (8565)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by ouchouchouch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (80616)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32430) - you deserved it (2502)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (2135)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

#16879498
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8793) - you deserved it (51152)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:09am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31987) - you deserved it (6085)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10314) - you deserved it (52212)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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