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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Manitoba

Today, I cut my penis on a desk fan. FML

#18217902 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (13074) - you deserved it (51200)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:53am - intimacy - by dumbassbuffet (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out my mother cleans the dishes with bathroom cleaning chemicals. She doesn't see anything wrong with this. FML

#17316744 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (1518)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:18am - misc - by isucksomuch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

#17106852 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (15486) - you deserved it (1206)

On 07/14/2011 at 11:25am - work - by Breanne - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML

#16879498 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (5905) - you deserved it (34155)

On 06/27/2011 at 10:09am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML

#15198573 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (4438)

On 03/04/2011 at 5:57pm - money - by duncanisgey - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (6342) - you deserved it (32579)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

#14371571 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (19737) - you deserved it (3203)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by whoawhoawhoa (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML

#13678660 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (6469) - you deserved it (25276)

On 11/01/2010 at 7:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

#13571310 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (8019) - you deserved it (23819)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by stickyface (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

#13209934 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (2097)

On 09/26/2010 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my husband has been out of town for a week. The only text I've got from him was, "I didn't take a poop today." FML

#12748634 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (20959) - you deserved it (2386)

On 08/26/2010 at 12:08am - love - by TextsAlot (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out what cat food tastes like mixed with mayo, hot sauce, and between two perfectly toasted pieces of rye bread. My cat found out what tuna tastes like instead of her normal food. FML

#11310878 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (7944) - you deserved it (21476)

On 06/19/2010 at 12:27pm - animals - by kasai_x0x (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

#10893433 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (16971) - you deserved it (11992)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:09pm - health - by Stupid_Chick - Canada (Manitoba)