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FMLs submitted from Manchester

Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML

#5977481
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (2956)

On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

#5971935
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40181) - you deserved it (5997)

On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

#5944121
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10454) - you deserved it (27653)

On 10/22/2009 at 1:20pm - misc - by Typrokka (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML

#5928824
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60552) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

#5602388
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5857) - you deserved it (31838)

On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML

#4936228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33230) - you deserved it (4747)

On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile I started to panic about the exam I had and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20mins after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

#3022587
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53424) - you deserved it (2534)

On 06/19/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by verrine - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

#2308873
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63022) - you deserved it (3657)

On 05/26/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my wife and I watched a documentary film about a kid living with severe asthma. In one scene, the kid has a severe asthma attack, and is rushed to hospital. My wife started laughing hysterically at this and after apologising, goes "it's just he sounded exactly like you in bed." FML

#2302795
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64147) - you deserved it (7240)

On 05/26/2009 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Weezylover (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, on the way to work, I pulled over at a postbox to post a letter. I walked up to the box with the letter in one hand, car key in the other. Guess which one I posted. FML

#2050004
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37688) - you deserved it (24315)

On 05/18/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by Posty (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64960) - you deserved it (5163)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)



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