Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1712) - you totally deserved it (768)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I went on a date with a great vegan guy in my class. We went to a vegi-restaurant, I dutifully ate all the meatless dishes, but he seemed pissed about something, and other diners kept giving me angry looks. After we left, I realised I'd worn my leather jacket to the date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5309) - you totally deserved it (18248)
On 02/25/2010 at 4:42am - love - by OmniVore (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4441) - you totally deserved it (14847)
On 12/31/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was preparing for a huge party I've been looking forward to for months. I did all the usual things a girl should do, put on a facemask, painted my nails, exfoliated... I was feeling confident until I peeled off the facemask. I guess when it said "vibrant" what it meant was bright red. FML
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On 12/11/2009 at 2:50am - health - by ouch (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20492) - you totally deserved it (3454)
On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22215) - you totally deserved it (1594)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15976) - you totally deserved it (6401)
On 10/31/2009 at 7:08am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18853) - you totally deserved it (1587)
On 10/24/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Granny (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you totally deserved it (3443)
On 10/24/2009 at 9:14am - love - by Oops (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML
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On 10/22/2009 at 1:20pm - misc - by Typrokka (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I found out who the father of my sister's 4 year old son is. My husband of 7 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41878) - you totally deserved it (1536)
On 10/21/2009 at 2:31pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML
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On 10/02/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by abrazama (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my boyfriend and I were starting to get in the mood. I get on top of him, lean down to kiss him, and he begins to laugh. Puzzled, I ask him why. He tells me that when I'm naked and on top of him, I remind him of a cow, with 'udders' . Offended, I go to get off. 'No no' he protests, 'a SEXY cow'. FML
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On 08/30/2009 at 7:35pm - intimacy - by sigh (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
