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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML

#1713391
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54529) - you deserved it (5367)

On 05/07/2009 at 8:39am - love - by TrulyYours (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

#1643455
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19469) - you deserved it (43719)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21037) - you deserved it (128110)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML

#1188952
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41635) - you deserved it (10379)

On 04/21/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by Jesus (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115967) - you deserved it (4553)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

#899403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17354) - you deserved it (56865)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML

#745352
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51372) - you deserved it (66697)

On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was ringing an old man up in the local grocery store when I had realized all he was buying was 3 bottles of vodka and a box of condoms. While I was loading the bags into his cart he laid his hand on my shoulder and told me "I'd take you home with me but chances are I would be arrested". FML

#711978
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101598) - you deserved it (5284)

On 03/30/2009 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at a Chinese restaurant, I'd forgotten my glasses and had a migraine. I was straining my eyes, squinting and rubbing my temples to alleviate my migraine. I was kicked out of the restaurant and banned henceforth because my waitress thought I was mocking her eyes. FML

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (347330) - you deserved it (32390)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

#7471
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28267) - you deserved it (4658)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)



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