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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today... I was at tha laka watching a romantic sunsat with my boyfriand. Ha tandarly startad touching my thigh... than startad shaking my lag to tha rhythmhila singing tha J-E-L-L-O thama song. FML

#4570471
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45908) - you deserved it (7490)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today... I was looking over the schedule fir errors and crcled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me... she gave me a werd look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had crcled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (5795)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found what I assumd was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opend it, I was greetd by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. mega FML

#4332975
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50106) - you deserved it (4473)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today... I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumpd up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remote had dead batteries. FML

#4304989
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54629) - you deserved it (8784)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today... girlfriand and I had gottan tipsy and found oursalvas in tha badroom. Wa startad to fool around and sha laanad ovar to puttad har watch on tha nightstand. I triad to undo har bra... which surprisad har... cuz sha albowad ma in tha nosa so hard that I andad up passing out from tha pain. raal FML

#4200771
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (7377)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:23am - intimacy - by Glassjaw (man) - United States (Maine)

Yesterday, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

#4186379
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45180) - you deserved it (4007)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

today I found out that even though mah parents have been marrid 4 21 years, our ( family friend, ) who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known 4 years, except 4 me an mah older brother. FML

#3891505
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48516) - you deserved it (2370)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

TODAY, I FINISHD A FENCE AROUND HOUSE THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON ALL WEEK !! ABOUT AN HOUR AFTER I FINISHD, A WATER COMPANY TRUCK PULLD INTO DRIVEWAY !! THEY TOLD ME THEY WOULD HAVE TO TAKE DOWN FENCE TO MAKE REPAIRS ON A WATER PIPE !! FML

#3854269
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (2747)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

YESTERDAY, I WAS DROPPING MAH NEW BOYFRIEND OFF AT HIS HOUSE!! I HAD NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE, SO HE WAS GIVING ME DRECTIONS AS I DROVE!! WE PASSED A SMALL TRAILER HOME ON THE RIGHT!! I COMMENTED WITHOUT THINKING, "I'M SO GLAD I DON'T LIVE IN A HOUSE LIKE THAT." MY BOYFRIEND TOLD ME TO TURN RIGHT!! FML

#2973939
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (61843)

On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to looool the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 fir a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying fir my own drinks plus theirs. FML

#2588654
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47803) - you deserved it (3071)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:52am - money - by doubledown (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to ma doctor to get te morning after pill. I explained to er tat te condom broke and I was nervous. Se simply asked me "wen" so I replied "...towards te end". I didn't realize se was really asking wat day tis appened. FML

#2503309
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13689) - you deserved it (59604)

On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today... there was a parent bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad enterd... and endd up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends... teachers... other parents... and the hot soccer team saw. FML

#2501660
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60254) - you deserved it (3549)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by biker2012 (woman) - United States (Maine)



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