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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63309) - you deserved it (16060)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

#4570471
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45965) - you deserved it (7499)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by juliaspaperbags (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (5800)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

#4332975
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50172) - you deserved it (4477)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

#4304989
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54685) - you deserved it (8786)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

#4200771
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40583) - you deserved it (7382)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:23am - intimacy - by Glassjaw (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I needed to buy Vagisil. I went to the grocery store so I could use the self check-out. My item rung up incorrectly, so a girl came to help. She was new and having trouble, so she called more people to help. I ended up having five people around me talking about my Vagisil purchase. FML

#4186379
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45218) - you deserved it (4010)

On 07/31/2009 at 5:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48577) - you deserved it (2373)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finished a fence around my house that I have been working on all week. About an hour after I finished, a water company truck pulled into my driveway. They told me they would have to take down my fence to make repairs on a water pipe. FML

#3854269
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43951) - you deserved it (2750)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was dropping my new boyfriend off at his house. I had never been there before, so he was giving me directions as I drove. We passed a small trailer home on the right. I commented without thinking, "I'm so glad I don't live in a house like that." My boyfriend told me to turn right. FML

#2973939
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (61895)

On 06/17/2009 at 6:08pm - love - by emix (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks plus theirs. FML

#2588654
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47850) - you deserved it (3074)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:52am - money - by doubledown (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML

#2503309
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13709) - you deserved it (59647)

On 06/01/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by embarrassed (woman) - United States (Maine)



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