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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34455) - you deserved it (3039)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12236) - you deserved it (27025)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my professor handed me back a paper I spent hours upon hours working on. At the bottom in red it said "D" followed by, "that was a gift." FML

#16666880
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (7307)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:59pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after wondering why I've never met my father, I asked my mom if I was the product of a one night stand. She replied with, "Well, technically he didn't spend the night." FML

#13927499
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (3156)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (8708)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, at work, my boss and I went upstairs to storage. We got in the elevator, I pressed the 2nd floor button, and it didn't move so I repeatedly pressed the button. It wasn't until the 5th press that I realized we were already on the 2nd floor. She thought I was an idiot. FML

#13452838
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6840) - you deserved it (24053)

On 10/14/2010 at 11:03pm - work - by edodge (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

#13241865
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40278) - you deserved it (2877)

On 09/28/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was surfing the web for Halloween costumes, and found one labeled "Extreme Girl Nerd". With the wig, the glasses, and the buck-teeth, it looked exactly like me. FML

#13174458
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27052) - you deserved it (6099)

On 09/23/2010 at 8:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend hacked my facebook account and set my status to say that I was in love with my boss. Seeing the post, my boss called me into his office, and told me he loved me too... FML

#11858705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49878) - you deserved it (4165)

On 07/13/2010 at 8:02pm - work - by Camille (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I met my boyfriends parents. I hope my charm and smile was enough for them to forgive me for not wearing pants. FML

#9023853
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (26899)

On 03/12/2010 at 11:55am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

#7110537
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23043) - you deserved it (5726)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:17pm - love - by garfwebba (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to look up how to eat a mango on the internet. FML

#7021786
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8247) - you deserved it (33248)

On 12/29/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by mylifeissad (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML

#7019728
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (1949)

On 12/29/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by kenzieeeee (woman) - United States (Maine)



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