Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you deserved it (2802)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (2964)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (6088)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (8201)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18150) - you deserved it (11830)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (3493)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6596) - you deserved it (19234)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (2106)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43856) - you deserved it (2978)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (6897)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

#18138545
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34021) - you deserved it (5265)

On 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm - love - by DrakeScott (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30147) - you deserved it (6801)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that my mother might not live much longer. My boyfriend, instead of showing compassion asked me, "We're still having video chat sex, right?" FML

#17914334
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38766) - you deserved it (4112)

On 10/05/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Forever sad (woman) - United States (Maine)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: