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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML

#20187165
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22682) - you deserved it (1680)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:01pm - misc - by potheadloljk (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8934) - you deserved it (44771)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML

#20085042
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25234) - you deserved it (1890)

On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had my girlfriend over to meet my parents. After dinner, we were in the living room talking. My dad thought it would be funny to grab our cat, stick it down his shirt, then pretend to give birth to it, with sound effects. FML

#20070030
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22062) - you deserved it (2061)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:37am - misc - by Sprtsgeek13 - United States (Maine)

Today, I had to explain to my teacher that Czechoslovakia is no longer a country. She kicked me out of class when she found out I was right. FML

#20049540
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (1723)

On 08/30/2012 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (2557)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML

#20034503
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13730) - you deserved it (6507)

On 08/21/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by mr_flarpin (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML

#20010519
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/08/2012 at 11:29pm - kids - by bellabreeze - United States (Maine)

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21668) - you deserved it (2952)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

#19929882
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (6075)

On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27249) - you deserved it (8174)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18060) - you deserved it (11774)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)



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