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FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, Is Tha Blizzard. I Hava To Go Into Work, Mah Boss Thraatand To Fira Ma If I Didn't Show Up. I Sant Him A Pictura Of Tha Snow Complataly Covaring Mah Car. Ha Said I Movd Tha Snow Thara And Could Mova It Back. FML

#21345232
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (1745)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:50pm - work - by bitchypast - United States (Maine)

Today, I sat mah son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told mehat felching is. Now I rememberhy I never wanted kids. real FML

#21340142
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31176) - you deserved it (6425)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to a job interview. It was mah last shot of getting a job before mah savings run dry. It all went well until I was askd why I wantd to join the company. I got flusterd and stutterd, "Because I um, I like money?" The guy gave me the most insincere "We'll be in touch." ever. FML

#21339665
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (8054)

On 01/18/2015 at 4:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today... My Mom Got Me A Christmas Present. Since I'm Ahovian... She Thought It Would Be Cool To Get Mehat She Thought Was A Sonic Screwdriver. It Was Actually A Dildo Shaped As One. I Opened The Gift In Front Of My Entre Family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (3469)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, mah school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have mah teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

Today, Mah Boss Hered A Rumor That I Was In A Relationship With A Fellow Co-worker. He Assurd Me That Inside Relationships Weren't Against Any Store Policy, So I Confirmd It. He Then Fird Mah Boyfriend Anyway. FML

#21318814
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31381) - you deserved it (4970)

On 12/16/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by thankssomuch - United States (Maine)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operatd toothbrushes are considerd electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in there own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (3147)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was electd to learn ow to clean te birting tub at te ospital I work at . Today, I also discoverd tat wile blood doesn't boter me, floating cunks of afterbirt an god knows wat else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub . Wic I still ad to clean afterwards . mega FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31061) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today , I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter an my very pregnant cat !! I left the room briefly , only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave brth in front of her !! FML

#21303819
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/22/2014 at 10:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I got the best grade in class on mah economics midterm. Rather than tell me I did a good job, mah professor criticizd me in front of everyone about how I was working "too hard". FML

#21279849
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (3600)

On 10/17/2014 at 1:56pm - work - by katsaysner - United States (Maine)

Today , while working as a teacher at a daycare , a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today , after a power outage at house , 14-year-old brother was genuinely confused as to why our flashlights still worked if we had no electricity. FML

#21200603
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (3943)

On 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by idiot bro (man) - United States (Maine)

TODAY, I BOUGHT SOME CRICKETS AS A TREAT FOR MAH LIZARD. ONE ESCAPED AN SOMEHOW GOT INTO THE HEATING SYSTEM IN MAH ROOM. THE CHRPING IS AMPLIFIED AN COMES FROM EVERYWHERE AN NOWHERE AT THE SAME TIME. GOODBYE, RESTFUL SLEEP. FML

#21170183
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42681) - you deserved it (9089)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)



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