[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

FMLs submitted from Maine

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (682) - you deserved it (1730)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (567)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716 (264)

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (1982)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491 (297)

I agree, your life sucks (23860) - you deserved it (4753)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

#18138545 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (10948) - you deserved it (1606)

On 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm - love - by DrakeScott (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (9451) - you deserved it (1954)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that my mother might not live much longer. My boyfriend, instead of showing compassion asked me, "We're still having video chat sex, right?" FML

#17914334 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2617)

On 10/05/2011 at 8:55pm - intimacy - by Forever sad (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

#17913530 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (5006)

On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my ex-boyfriend's attempt to win me back involved standing at the bottom of my apartment building with two airhorns, blasting them and shouting. And for some reason, singing "Sweet Caroline", even though that's not my name. FML

#17325823 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (2421)

On 07/31/2011 at 11:09pm - love - by notsomuch (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

#17233282 (377)

I agree, your life sucks (42609) - you deserved it (4385)

On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

#17176803 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (46595)

On 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm - misc - by freakfreak12345 - United States (Maine)

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked passed my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (24632) - you deserved it (1917)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (3843) - you deserved it (8095)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)