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FMLs submitted from Louisiana

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

#9160182
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (8141)

On 03/17/2010 at 2:26pm - health - by Betty (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was chatting with a cute guy on Omegle. He seemed really friendly and interested after I had showed him a picture of me. When I mentioned that I play music, he seemed even more interested, so I gave him the link to my music Myspace. I waited patiently. He disconnected. FML

#8602827
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7901) - you deserved it (19548)

On 02/23/2010 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML

#7423840
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22143) - you deserved it (1813)

On 01/18/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML

#6812305
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (1823)

On 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm - health - by ThatAintLogical (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML

#6544765
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (11622)

On 12/01/2009 at 12:00am - love - by toastedguy (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML

#6501685
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37071) - you deserved it (4489)

On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend of 15 months broke up with me. Best part? I just picked up an expensive sterling silver ring engraved with Forever and Always for her last week (she knew about this). The other best part? She asked if she could still have it and if she could keep my hamster. FML

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt and stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

#6222212
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (4370)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:05am - love - by alltern8ive (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

#5820033
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (36216)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

#5333449
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (46240)

On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my Grandmother was sent to the ER. My family blamed it on her being allergic to my cats, making me feel guilty. She just called me to tell me the test results informed her that she is actually allergic to the carrot cake they got her. I gave my cats away 15 minutes ago to a little girl. FML

#5148026
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (6628)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:53pm - animals - by hwood (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, knowing that the girl I broke up with last night goes crazy after breakups, I threw away my hair products, thinking she switched them with Nair. She didn't... but she did use the key I keep under a flowerpot to take all of my clothes and burn them on my lawn while I was at work. FML

#5066785
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33072) - you deserved it (6177)

On 09/05/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11468) - you deserved it (43823)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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