Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Louisiana

Today, my brother thought it would be hilarious to take a pair of scissors to all my bras. My mom can't take me shopping for another three days and I have no one to borrow a bra from. I have school. FML

#16003587
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38339) - you deserved it (3930)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said "you know you can't wash and reuse these." FML

#15846641
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (20524)

On 04/19/2011 at 12:19pm - misc - by killercow - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally started my job as an in-home caregiver. The man I was hired to care for died two hours after I made it to his house. FML

#15834810
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41421) - you deserved it (3433)

On 04/18/2011 at 3:24pm - work - by nurseITHINKNOT - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33761) - you deserved it (7699)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

#14993879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (20005)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by nerdychick (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after informing my boss I needed stress leave from my 70 hour a week shifts, I got my new work assignment. Sixty hours a week starting at 2am. FML

#14942449
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (3602)

On 02/11/2011 at 11:02pm - work - by NotAMorningPerson - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as I'm pregnant, my mom came over to do some nice things for me, such as clean my kitchen and cook a large pot of my favorite soup. When she left, I took a nap, planning to eat later. I woke up to find my roommates had trashed my kitchen and eaten all my soup. FML

#14542234
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29459) - you deserved it (3865)

On 01/11/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML

#14525789
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35451) - you deserved it (2641)

On 01/09/2011 at 9:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

#14409774
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25691) - you deserved it (5960)

On 12/31/2010 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by legwarmer (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

#14403939
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18446) - you deserved it (6933)

On 12/31/2010 at 1:13am - misc - by brenami (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML

#14212357
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (6431)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by penisgrabber - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31322) - you deserved it (7800)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58185) - you deserved it (10589)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: