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FMLs submitted from Louisiana

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

#20022706
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25168) - you deserved it (6416)

On 08/15/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by foreveravirgin (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss bitched at me because my body language "indicates that you don't enjoy doing your job". I just have scoliosis. FML

#19972077
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23636) - you deserved it (1390)

On 07/22/2012 at 12:50am - work - by c - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

#19860817
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (3156)

On 06/28/2012 at 2:11pm - love - by daniella101 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (15775)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the father of my child couldn't understand why he had been laid off from his job as a painter's assistant. He couldn't find a broom or vacuum, so he "cleaned" a carpet by laying down strips of painter's tape and pulling it up. FML

#19586827
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19390) - you deserved it (3233)

On 05/07/2012 at 11:57am - work - by notrocketscience (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I bought medical gloves to protect my hands from various chemicals at work since I have eczema. I had an allergic reaction to the gloves, and now my eczema is even worse. FML

#19336700
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21985) - you deserved it (2415)

On 03/24/2012 at 1:41am - health - by retyi43 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after finally getting my newborn baby to sleep, I made a sign to put on the door asking people not to knock or ring the bell, since our 3 dogs will bark loudly and wake the baby. When I went to print the sign, my dogs barked like crazy at the sound of the printer. FML

#19094403
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24626) - you deserved it (9007)

On 02/16/2012 at 4:42pm - kids - by TiredMom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my roommate did his laundry. Unfortunately, he didn't check his pockets before he washed them. There's now sticky, melted gum all over the washer and I'm left to clean it up. FML

#18926835
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20616) - you deserved it (1943)

On 01/27/2012 at 5:32pm - misc - by StickySituations (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

#18752825
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31156) - you deserved it (7049)

On 01/09/2012 at 12:01am - intimacy - by LaLa - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

#18569258
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (4652)

On 12/21/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Derpina - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22536) - you deserved it (5299)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8168) - you deserved it (72813)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)



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