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FMLs submitted from Louisiana

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37352) - you deserved it (4590)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was finally given a parking spot at work. It turns out to be between an expensive sports car that never parks straight and a giant truck too big for its space. FML

#21215497
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41004) - you deserved it (2772)

On 07/20/2014 at 7:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (9231)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48283) - you deserved it (5098)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

#21143150
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45683) - you deserved it (3754)

On 05/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by 2ndgenoration (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35835) - you deserved it (5528)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

#21120721
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34679) - you deserved it (12578)

On 04/23/2014 at 10:54am - misc - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46340) - you deserved it (7221)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML

#21034785
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46273) - you deserved it (5018)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:07am - kids - by sickmom (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49102) - you deserved it (4441)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47749) - you deserved it (11202)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45311) - you deserved it (4120)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38873) - you deserved it (8206)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)



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