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FMLs submitted from London

Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML

#5930750
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10254) - you deserved it (22148)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm - kids - by holy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

#5926949
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27310) - you deserved it (3045)

On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML

#5910147
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33807) - you deserved it (2285)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:46am - kids - by NikkiiFireStarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML

#5875643
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26873) - you deserved it (4570)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by Anonwymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend texted me telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted my virginity. We have already done it. I don't think he meant to send that text to me. FML

#5763126
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24966) - you deserved it (2062)

On 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by screwed.over (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss and co-workers. When, without warning I tripped in front of everyone and knocked a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying for it. FML

#5667888
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25275) - you deserved it (4101)

On 10/05/2009 at 7:25pm - work - by ProneToBlondeMoments (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7865) - you deserved it (42534)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my birthday. I asked my mom that instead of a present if she would make a donation to my favourite charity. She said that this wasn't a "proper" present for a 15-year-old girl. Instead she got me a kettle because "ours had broke and you make the most tea in the family." FML

#5561209
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30611) - you deserved it (4586)

On 09/30/2009 at 2:17am - misc - by qwerty6 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17239) - you deserved it (1462)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML

#5443972
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54872) - you deserved it (2086)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML

#5047038
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (1768)

On 09/04/2009 at 7:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was hurrying for the bus home from work. It was raining and I had my umbrella up. As I hurried by two women, I felt my umbrella hit one of them on the head. I turned to apologise and saw her standing with her hands on her newly bald head. My umbrella had lifted her wig off her head. FML

#4950874
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37879) - you deserved it (4022)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to meet with my landlord to organise when he was coming to look at my flat and decide whether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him, my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

#4941541
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (4366)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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