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FMLs submitted from London

Today, I told mah brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto mah lap. FML

#5930750
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12937) - you deserved it (29487)

On 10/21/2009 at 5:03pm - kids - by holy (man) - United Kingdom (London)

today I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving... that we presumed was stable. It broke... an all the expensive vases an collectables fell to the floor. On instinct... I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

#5926949
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (4158)

On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire , after he burnt all the belongings in my room , including an £600 guitar. FML

#5910147
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37639) - you deserved it (2569)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:46am - kids - by NikkiiFireStarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I Askd Mah Fiancé's Daughter To Use Her Phone So I Could Call Mine Which I'd Misplacd !! Busy With Homework, She Noddd !! Only After She Jumpd Up Did I Notice That She Had Mah Number Listd With A Humiliating Nickname, And Accompanid By A Photo Of Her Middle Finger !! FML

#5875643
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (5117)

On 10/18/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by Anonwymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, Mah Boyfriend Texted Me Telling Me How Much He Loved Me, And That He Wanted Mah Vrginity . We Have Already Done It . I Don't Think He Meant To Send That Text To Me . FML

#5763126
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/10/2009 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by screwed.over (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was just about to do an important presentation in front of my boss an co-workers. When, without warning I trippd in front of everyone an knockd a VERY expensive computer off the table. How do I know it was so expensive? I'm paying fir it. FML

#5667888
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (4507)

On 10/05/2009 at 7:25pm - work - by ProneToBlondeMoments (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a big exam . 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me . I ignord them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting . I stood up and yelld "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kickd out . Turns out I was seatd directly in looool front of the clock . FML

#5563519
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9476) - you deserved it (47052)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my birtday. I askd my mom tat instead of a present if se would make a donation to my favourite carity. Se said tat tis wasn't a "proper" present 4 a 15-year-old girl. Instead se got me a kettle because "ours ad broke an you make te most tea in te family." FML

#5561209
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33513) - you deserved it (4867)

On 09/30/2009 at 2:17am - misc - by qwerty6 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I listened to mah voice mail messages fir the first time in months. One was from mah Grandma that must have been meant fir Gramps. I think I know now y mah mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (1741)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Yastarday, tha waird racaptionist at tha hotal I'm staying at askd ma if I naadd an axtra blankat bacausa I "lookd cold in mah slaap last night" . FML

#5443972
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62755) - you deserved it (2612)

On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge,hen a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it fir him, an was greeted on the other side by his father -ho thought I was stealing it an hit me. mega FML

#5047038
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (2135)

On 09/04/2009 at 7:43pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was urrying 4 te bus ome from work. It was raining and I ad my umbrella up. As I urried by two women, I felt my umbrella it one of tem on te ead. I turned to apologise and saw er standing wit er ands on er newly bald ead. My umbrella ad lifted er wig off er ead. FML

#4950874
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (4306)

On 08/31/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by Karen (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today... I had to meet with my landlord to organisehen he was coming to look at my flat and decidehether I get my deposit back. In the time it took to see him... my friend drank a bottle of vodka and vomited all over my room and knocked the window through. My landlord is coming in the morning. FML

#4941541
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (4826)

On 08/30/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Robbins (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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