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Yesterday, I Was Making Out With Girlfriend In Room. About Two Minute Into It, Cat Walks In And Jumps On The Bd With Us. Without Hesitation, Girlfriend Tells Me To Stop, Rolls Over, And Start Petting Cat. Mega FML
Today..!! mah family an I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden!! Last night..!! a group of girls from mah village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were..!! an how they had stolen a Christmas tree!! I "liked" it!! FML
today I set off a fire alarm in scool. I was taken to te ead teacer's office, were e said tat toug e was socked at ma beavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was soved into te fire alarm by bullies. FML
Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML
Today, mah sister was dumped by her boyfriend!! As mah mother was comforting her, I overheard her say "Honey, it's okay, your the pretty one!! Think of those worse off than you!! Think of yur sister, she might never get a boyfriend." FML
Today I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology . I see a 'sack'hich appereed to contain a liquid . Being the curious type I cut open the sack spraying said liquid over me and my desk . My teacher after giggling informed me that the liquid was in fact urine . I was pissed on by a dead pig . FML
TODAY, IN THE GYM, AS I BENT OVER TO PICK UP MY WIEGHTS AN OLD MAN FARTED RIGHT IN MY FACE. THE STENCH WAS APPALLING. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, A GRL I'VE FANCIED FOR AGES THOUGHT IT WAS ME AND REPORTED IT TO THE INSTRUCTOR. I WAS TOLD TO LEAVE FOR 'ANTI-SOCIAL BEHAVIOR'.
Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house coverd with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opend the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML
Friday 27 March 2015