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FMLs submitted from London

Today, I was sitting on the bus when an obese woman with flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

#14116866
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30339) - you deserved it (2571)

On 12/07/2010 at 4:38am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got a phone call to say my workplace was closed due to extreme weather conditions. Looking forward to my day off, I then realised the boiler was broken and my house has no heating despite there being a foot of snow outside. I'm spending the day in bed, wearing all my clothes. FML

#14056673
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (2518)

On 12/02/2010 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

#13701882
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7338) - you deserved it (24604)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

#13698951
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6435) - you deserved it (52490)

On 11/03/2010 at 7:23am - misc - by Gemma - United Kingdom (London)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you deserved it (6986)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML

#13671939
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8132) - you deserved it (50346)

On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41432) - you deserved it (4620)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (8102)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

#13339681
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35958) - you deserved it (5313)

On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

#13287891
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (2535)

On 10/02/2010 at 10:26am - work - by help me! - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, the guy I like recommended I buy this computer game. Wanting to impress him, I agreed. Turns out it was a joke. I am now the proud owner of Microsoft Train Simulator 2005, and he can't stop laughing. FML

#13205814
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (31787)

On 09/26/2010 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got into my car and realised that my CDs were no longer in my glove box. According to the police, the random key code for my car type has been cracked, and thieves can now let themselves in whenever they want. The manufacturer says they can't do anything about it. FML

#13158872
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/22/2010 at 5:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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