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FMLs submitted from London

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

#15154591
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13433) - you deserved it (34766)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm - health - by stupiddrunk (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

#15092237
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (2369)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got an email from my seminar tutor asking why I wasn't in class. I was sitting next to him. FML

#14924630
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (2473)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:48pm - misc - by JaneVI (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that my sister is going to spend the last two months of her pregancy in my house to be with my mother. She's bringing with her her three wild children. The visit also happens to coincide with my end of year examinations in May and June. FML

#14851540
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (2870)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:33am - kids - by stressedandcrowded (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

#14651600
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (14043)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:37pm - love - by Bethany (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML

#14600625
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20976) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:30pm - work - by ovawerkrd - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

#14499685
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25625) - you deserved it (5582)

On 01/07/2011 at 6:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered after four hours of vomiting that it is very much possible to vomit so hard you can't help but shit in your trousers. My boyfriend is currently staying over, too. FML

#14458988
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24876) - you deserved it (2499)

On 01/04/2011 at 2:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

#14366968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (4699)

On 12/28/2010 at 5:47am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

Today, my 14 year-old son sent a broadcast on my blackberry saying ''I'm a young gay man looking for some fun!'' to all my contacts as a joke. What he didn't know was that it's my work phone. FML

#14284329
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35107) - you deserved it (4994)

On 12/21/2010 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it was my first day on a £600 a week job. I was fired for being 10 minutes late. FML

#14272532
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9543) - you deserved it (56932)

On 12/20/2010 at 1:08pm - work - by Chloe - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

#14128663
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28338) - you deserved it (4640)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:40am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)



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