Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from London

Today, I was giving a talk in class, when halfway through someone pointed out that my pubes were sticking out my trousers. FML

#17690152
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (13456)

On 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm - work - by Sammylad - United Kingdom (London)

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

#17563055
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (5155)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:44pm - love - by Embarassed (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was diagnosed with crabs. I lost my virginity to my wife, and have never had sex or any sexual contact with anyone but her in my life. FML

#17521607
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46408) - you deserved it (3983)

On 08/19/2011 at 5:57pm - intimacy - by jimmy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my neighbor from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

#17405382
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23829) - you deserved it (5756)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by wahhh (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML

#17148663
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28318) - you deserved it (4017)

On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML

#17104871
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21547) - you deserved it (8214)

On 07/14/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by Boo (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

#16714444
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (2122)

On 06/17/2011 at 4:23pm - misc - by ajdown (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

#16708648
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (10792)

On 06/17/2011 at 7:32am - misc - by catherine - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

#16657844
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33329) - you deserved it (3241)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:47am - misc - by lalala (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

#16575897
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (6864)

On 06/09/2011 at 9:22am - health - by IPityTheStool (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

#16384054
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (8612)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:20am - work - by justletitbeover (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11418) - you deserved it (37356)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13929) - you deserved it (42074)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: