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FMLs submitted from London

Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He told me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML

#832595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50969) - you deserved it (16019)

On 04/06/2009 at 9:39am - health - by blahbags (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I received an e-mail from the girls at work. It was an invite to lunch but it said, "Lunch today at Camber's, PLEASE don't tell Francoise, I don't think any of us can take any more of her!" I'm Francoise. FML

#436130
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79384) - you deserved it (17780)

On 03/18/2009 at 9:02am - work - by Francoise3 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

#261898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39905) - you deserved it (29001)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - animals - by broussimousse - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML

#241077
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57853) - you deserved it (2511)

On 03/08/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Noname - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

#94773
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9092) - you deserved it (61525)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:35am - love - by notsosexygirl (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59056) - you deserved it (2677)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was late for work and took a taxi. The driver tells me he tried to commit suicide recently. I listen to him for 20mins, sat outside my workplace with the meter off. He charges me £5.80 and my boss gives me a warning for being late. FML

#1315
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:27am - work - by hapless - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

#781
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7455) - you deserved it (35216)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by Sidney - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (23536)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

#513
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22582) - you deserved it (5845)

On 12/14/2008 at 8:14am - intimacy - by james - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while on holiday in England, a cute boy came up and asked where I'm from. When I said Paris, he gave a look and said, "Oh, strange, I always thought Parisians were the most beautiful women in the world." FML

#233
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (3954)

On 11/06/2008 at 8:01am - love - by frog - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML

#115
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28685) - you deserved it (5393)

On 10/28/2008 at 4:40am - work - by damn... - United Kingdom (London)



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