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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from London

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9912) - you deserved it (67290)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (5243)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML

#18386574
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31974) - you deserved it (1890)

On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

#18338481
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45606) - you deserved it (4293)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by haunted (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

#18190231
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43721) - you deserved it (7930)

On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I came home from school, only to find I was locked out. The cars were all there, but no one was in. It wasn't until I heard continuous banging from my parents' window that it clicked. They locked me out for over an hour in freezing weather just to have sex. FML

#18138083
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (4157)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by miley098 - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (2389)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I listened as my ridiculously wealthy friend excitedly rambled on and on about her latest shopping trip. This is the same friend who owes me £150, and accused me of being insensitive for asking her to repay it at some point. FML

#17928398
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (3538)

On 10/07/2011 at 3:02pm - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had a job interview. The only moment I impressed the interviewer was when I talked about drama. He started to talk about a play I hadn't seen, but I decided to agree on everything he was saying. Suddenly he said, "the play doesn't actually exist." I silently left the room. FML

#17912138
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8387) - you deserved it (33197)

On 10/05/2011 at 4:33pm - work - by Lyingg (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

#17839190
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (2432)

On 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm - love - by happybirthday (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42912) - you deserved it (4370)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (12076)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

#17696149
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (2468)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:41am - work - by whyarewerelated (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



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