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FMLs submitted from London, City of

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45009) - you deserved it (5494)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband and I went for our 20 week scan and found out we're having a girl. The first thing he said to me was, "The next one better be a boy or I'm leaving you". FML

#20952357
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53615) - you deserved it (4748)

On 11/10/2013 at 5:28am - kids - by Naomi - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

#20946422
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46553) - you deserved it (11233)

On 11/05/2013 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by roughsexgonewrong (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35866) - you deserved it (7012)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML

#20911387
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39815) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/07/2013 at 6:51pm - work - by Loner_Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

#20908389
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50265) - you deserved it (4143)

On 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by british_babe (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44950) - you deserved it (19760)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57160) - you deserved it (7509)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (4361)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56592) - you deserved it (3473)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

#20772742
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41857) - you deserved it (3638)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by help - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51371) - you deserved it (4877)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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