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FMLs submitted from London, City of

Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML

#20081871
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20069) - you deserved it (1915)

On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22407) - you deserved it (3806)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

#20041381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20986) - you deserved it (1895)

On 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm - health - by blue (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

#20019125
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23978) - you deserved it (1513)

On 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm - love - by impickingyourhomegran (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (10225)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

#20014909
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (4784)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

#19880614
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (12587)

On 07/02/2012 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML

#19856741
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21041) - you deserved it (2591)

On 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by fired (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

#19765819
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (5333)

On 06/10/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by Catherine (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

#19757535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21521) - you deserved it (8997)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a drunk man wearing a sandwich-board proclaiming that, "The end is nigh" threw some so-called holy water at me while bellowing, "It's what Jesus would've wanted" and that I should "repent for being an evil shite." FML

#19674357
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15051) - you deserved it (1723)

On 05/24/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by Notasinner (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML

#19668387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20653) - you deserved it (4403)

On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML

#19587863
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10261) - you deserved it (25543)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:40pm - money - by exalia (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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