FMLs submitted from London

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

by davey d / 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

by mark / 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had our whole staff photo. We all had to stand up in rows in height order, as I'm tall I had to stand in the middle, at the back. I'm horribly claustrophobic and ended up fainting in front of 100 colleagues, taking down 4 people around me. FML

by photofaint / 02/23/2012 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

by SocialAnxietyNightmare / 02/09/2012 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2012 at 12:55pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

by iheartmorons / 01/14/2012 at 9:31am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2012 at 1:41pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, I accidentally called my teacher "Babe". FML

by randomgirl / 01/07/2012 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

by blegh / 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I used so many different perfume testers that I passed out on the bus. FML

by justnance / 12/22/2011 at 1:04pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health