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FMLs submitted from Leicestershire

TODAY, I'M AVING EART SURGERY . TE DOC CAME IN, DONUT IN ONE AND AND PAPER IN ANOTER . WILE I WAS FILLING TEM OUT, IS ANDS KEPT TREMBLING, AND E DROPPED TE DONUT ON TE FLOOR . HE FUMBLED TO PICK IT UP AND KEPT EATING . TE GUY I'M ENTRUSTING LIFE TO DOESN'T EVEN RESPECT TE FIVE-SECOND RULE . FML

#19914869
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24893) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/09/2012 at 2:25pm - health - by deadman (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I've found out that since beginning mah new heavy workout regime, mah testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny . My girlfriend lives on another continent . The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next . mega FML

#18836857
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (4468)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Dooh (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, after eighteen yeres of living with mah adoptive parents, I met mah biological mum 4 the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who weres 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. real FML

#16301651
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50898) - you deserved it (3949)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - kids - by Adoptee (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today... I participatd in a charity auction at my universityhere the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34935) - you deserved it (5123)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. looool FML

#13985101
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (2675)

On 11/26/2010 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, I went to see John Mayer. Bieng 6'2", I didn't think there would be any trouble seieng the stage, until three 6'6" men stood directly in front of me, pissed in a cup and managed to spill it over me. FML

#7368221
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27472) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/15/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by edot (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, mah wife came home from work early and told me she'd been frd. She was really upset so I told her how much she means to me and how much I love her to help cheer her up. She then told me she was caught getting it on with another employee. FML

#5814058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27553) - you deserved it (1969)

On 10/13/2009 at 9:45am - intimacy - by LOLCATS (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wantd to make it a realistic as possible but endd up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

#5774504
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55007) - you deserved it (27819)

On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)



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