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FMLs submitted from Leicester

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (4315)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47090) - you deserved it (3120)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, when I locked my newly repaired bike up, I carefully took the new rear light off it so that nobody could steal said light. Somebody stole my bike. At least I have a red light to play with. FML

#20936443
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36532) - you deserved it (3491)

On 10/28/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45504) - you deserved it (3580)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (6345)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I refused to let two students into class because they were 15 minutes late. It turns out they were late because they had gone to buy me a birthday cake. FML

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

#7258041
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11404) - you deserved it (38939)

On 01/10/2010 at 1:13pm - love - by Olihime (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

#6613965
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11177) - you deserved it (13977)

On 12/05/2009 at 9:19am - intimacy - by Anon - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I left my hammer outside after putting up my 'for sale' sign in front of my house. I realised and went outside to get it. The hammer had been used to smash my car window and steal stuff inside. FML

#6085563
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26879) - you deserved it (6205)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by dogsickftl - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I got a few notes from this girl I like at school for 2 years telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocks on the door and I panic and say "Hold on!". I shoved them under my pillow then told him to come in. He said "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML

#14349
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (10156)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Misunderstood (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



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