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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Kuala Lumpur

Today, while in heavy traffic on the highway, a motorcyclist managed to t-bone my car. He picked himself up, glanced at the side of my car, and quickly drove off, all in the space of a few seconds. I just got an expensive paint job on this thing. FML

#17778728 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (7045) - you deserved it (882)

On 09/19/2011 at 4:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML

#15226088 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (30566) - you deserved it (4186)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by dizzy (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

#13273071 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (16190) - you deserved it (13311)

On 10/01/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by rosmaizura (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

#13194078 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (15842) - you deserved it (2848)

On 09/25/2010 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

#12752465 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (43302)

On 08/26/2010 at 6:09am - intimacy - by fmylife (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

#10289820 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (20772) - you deserved it (6373)

On 05/02/2010 at 4:37am - misc - by everyonehatesme (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I wrapped a towel around my waist so I could take a dump while using my laptop. I sat on the toilet seat and let a big load go. Turns out I forgot to unwrap the towel. FML

#9918494 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (5695) - you deserved it (45819)

On 04/16/2010 at 8:34am - health - by TowelSmellsNice (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I spilled some milk on my laptop. I was pretty sure it would be fine as it was only a bit of milk. While cleaning the residue, I knocked a whole bucket of water into the insides of the laptop. RIP Macbook. FML

#8120945 (256)

I agree, your life sucks (7461) - you deserved it (19137)

On 02/11/2010 at 2:32am - misc - by NC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has more armpit hair than me. FML

#6732591 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (3885)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by manutdlol - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML

#6706916 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (3927)

On 12/11/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by CrapFeet (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

#6565317 (151)

I agree, your life sucks (28171) - you deserved it (2554)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:36am - health - by michelle91 (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my girlfriend's parents wanted to cook dinner for me. After a whole day of cooking up a storm, her parents cooked an elaborate meal of roast lamb, pork chops and grilled chicken. Rejecting a meal is like spitting in ones face in Chinese culture. I'm vegetarian. FML

#6500045 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (9016)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:40pm - misc - by NickC (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, after burning all my past-papers, books and notes in celebration of finishing maths forever, I found out I have to re-take my maths exam to get the minimum grade for college. FML

#6491389 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (6636) - you deserved it (30479)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:16am - misc - by NickC - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)