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FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19261) - you deserved it (65827)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the company I work for decided to "go green" and stopped using the air conditioner to cool down the office. It is currently 81 degrees at my desk. FML

#15681231
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (4391)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:55pm - work - by Dave (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

#15514869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45710) - you deserved it (5739)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

#15248393
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42506) - you deserved it (4033)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (3186)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I discovered my fiancé has been telling everyone else we are just friends, yet last night he wanted me to go with him to pick up my engagement ring. I'm supposing the wedding will be a surprise to everyone. FML

#14721609
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26432) - you deserved it (3097)

On 01/26/2011 at 4:26pm - love - by Unreality (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

#14645700
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28498) - you deserved it (2887)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:04am - love - by singleladynow (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, for the first time ever, my boyfriend of one year told me he loved me. He was calling me by collect call from the county jail. FML

#14485086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26184) - you deserved it (5606)

On 01/06/2011 at 12:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

#14180759
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33652) - you deserved it (4043)

On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

#14087345
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9908) - you deserved it (31386)

On 12/04/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

#14003721
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6791) - you deserved it (35923)

On 11/27/2010 at 8:57pm - kids - by lebowski - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (3012)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)



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