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FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34659) - you deserved it (2666)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (4103)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML

#16722339
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (14391)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by sucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

#16616782
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45802) - you deserved it (3742)

On 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm - misc - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45842) - you deserved it (13283)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13148) - you deserved it (63941)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

#15999720
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53309) - you deserved it (3991)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:50am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my bladder decided to empty itself while I was on a rollercoaster. FML

#15991792
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (9962)

On 04/30/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (66028)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the company I work for decided to "go green" and stopped using the air conditioner to cool down the office. It is currently 81 degrees at my desk. FML

#15681231
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29858) - you deserved it (4406)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:55pm - work - by Dave (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

#15514869
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45974) - you deserved it (5761)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

#15248393
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42760) - you deserved it (4053)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:27am - love - by life_isnt_fair (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34014) - you deserved it (3286)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)



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