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FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (11353)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52859) - you deserved it (2664)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85485) - you deserved it (13104)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37615) - you deserved it (4565)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (5328)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a colony of ants announced that they'd moved into my bedroom closet as I went to get dressed for work. FML

#17605215
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (2149)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by ant_hater (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML

#17539435
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (2725)

On 08/21/2011 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

#17413656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27155) - you deserved it (11477)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

#17326829
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (5189)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

#17066979
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33176) - you deserved it (2553)

On 07/11/2011 at 2:16pm - misc - by BMike - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41217) - you deserved it (4092)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got in my sister's car outside the movie theater and started talking about the movie. When I realized she wasn't saying anything, I looked up to see my ex-boyfriend sitting in the drivers seat. I got in the wrong car. FML

#16722339
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (14357)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by sucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

#16616782
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (3636)

On 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm - misc - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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