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FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

#19365320
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16779) - you deserved it (2823)

On 03/28/2012 at 6:49pm - kids - by laststand11 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cock blocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

#19323804
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (6484)

On 03/21/2012 at 11:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I learned that my "cash back rewards" for credit card purchases are mailed with the monthly statement. The same monthly statement that goes straight into the shredder or fireplace because I prefer to do my banking online. FML

#18996100
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6943) - you deserved it (37541)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:51pm - money - by twiggy24 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (5106)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (3734)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50491) - you deserved it (5491)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6130) - you deserved it (66601)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (9219)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

#18128674
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (2554)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - money - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23786) - you deserved it (15468)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31312) - you deserved it (2648)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

#18058320
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27736) - you deserved it (3645)

On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

#18057000
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (4059)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)



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