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FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

#18943699
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17357) - you deserved it (3740)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

#18566485
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22946) - you deserved it (3365)

On 12/20/2011 at 11:32pm - intimacy - by bathtime (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML

#18502808
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (5032)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by testesential - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5049) - you deserved it (61377)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking through my house when I noticed bits of plaster falling from the ceiling. Against all logic, I looked up, receiving a fragment directly in the eyeball. FML

#18336172
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (8378)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:06am - misc - by swirkishly - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

#18128674
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23028) - you deserved it (1797)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - money - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22565) - you deserved it (15016)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML

#18093315
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (2417)

On 10/27/2011 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

#18058320
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25082) - you deserved it (3391)

On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a shooting range with my father. The target was a creepy poster of a man. My father said, "This one is for your boyfriend." Perfect groin shot. FML

#18057000
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20197) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm - love - by Mrs. Terrified - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady came in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

#17894679
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38037) - you deserved it (4764)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27577) - you deserved it (10497)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45652) - you deserved it (1903)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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