FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

by khaoslife / 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

by RomanceFail / 04/02/2015 at 8:51am / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

by kysier / 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I didn't feel like going to work, so I called in sick. Five hours later while out shopping, I got hit by a car at a crosswalk. Now I'm laid-up in the local hospital, really wishing I was with the guys at work. FML

by julichlove / 12/27/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, it's my birthday. My grandma posted about it on her Facebook wall, but people got confused and thought it was her birthday instead. She got twice as many birthday wishes as I did, and that's including the ones I got outside of Facebook. FML

by Drew / 11/29/2014 at 10:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Geek

Today, I found out that my dog likes to howl when he hears sirens. I live next to the fire station. FML

by drreeeewwww / 11/25/2014 at 3:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

by SisterOfTard / 11/10/2014 at 11:31am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

by madisonbubch / 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML

by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

by ElementaryEdGuy / 09/11/2014 at 11:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

by welptimetoburntheplacedown / 08/11/2014 at 11:02am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous