Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

#723787
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54332) - you deserved it (7310)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and one of his friends started talking to him. He immediately threw me off and said "I have to answer this." He went over to his computer and started talking to them. FML

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

#602653
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59922) - you deserved it (25941)

On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

#483516
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33586) - you deserved it (134900)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML

#333270
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46920) - you deserved it (22408)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:20am - love - by Raw95 (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27917) - you deserved it (40036)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw a girl texting at school. I told her she might want to put her phone away before she got a detention. She turned around and I saw she was changing her insulin level on her pump. She has diabetes. FML

#112568
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10916) - you deserved it (50959)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:41am - health - by kcd (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143222) - you deserved it (11820)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15315) - you deserved it (31352)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

#69472
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107250) - you deserved it (9823)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

#67507
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12971) - you deserved it (43360)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my grandmother told me that not only does she not accept me as a homosexual man, but that she feels my relationship with a little person is "spitting in God's face." FML

#56713
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41340) - you deserved it (11780)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:34pm - love - by iamatthewroberts (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

#16441
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45182) - you deserved it (7962)

On 02/09/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Kentucky)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: