FMLs submitted from Kentucky

Today, I returned home from college. I found out that my dad ran over my cat months ago and tried to cover it up by having her stuffed. I found it "her" on my bed when I got home. They think that it's sweet that they stuffed the cat they killed. FML

by sadblufly / 06/18/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I left for work at 7:00 am, my dad was playing Grand Theft Auto 5. When I got home at 3:30, he was still playing. I'm 18 years old. He's 45. FML

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only have one thing in common: we would both bang Hillary Clinton. FML

by Anon / 04/28/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML

by fuck off, for real / 04/03/2016 at 9:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I went into a store for an interview. I've had several places wanting to talk to me and this job was a lot lower paying. I got a little cocky and when offered the job, I said I wanted some time to finish my other interviews first and see what my options were. The manager then took back his offer. FML

by Jeanna / 03/15/2016 at 7:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I was woken by the sound of music coming from my living room at 1:30 am. My cat had managed to turn on the stereo and turn the volume all the way up. Just as I fell asleep again, there was a knock at the door. The police showed up about a noise complaint. FML

by elguapo3745 / 02/29/2016 at 1:20pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I have to attend a mandatory parenting class due to a false report filed against me with CPS. My son's school play is at the same time as today's class, and I'll have to miss it so I can learn how to be a "better mom". FML

by irony / 02/25/2016 at 10:08am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, I lost control of my car on a patch of ice and slid off the road, messing up my car. I was working on a news story about bad road conditions. FML

by UnluckyReporter / 02/17/2016 at 1:35am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, cable was installed at my house and the cable guy smelled like some horrid mix of cabbage and cheese. I'm pregnant and suffering from morning sickness. I've sprayed air freshener, lit candles, and opened windows despite the cold outside. I can't get rid of the smell. FML

by soapisyourfriend / 02/16/2016 at 1:53am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

by thanks iphone / 01/30/2016 at 4:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2015 at 12:40am / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, in an attempt to broaden my horizons in another sport besides swimming, I succeeded in getting a frisbee spiked into my face. FML

by fishoutofwater / 12/02/2015 at 11:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

by CoffeeStained / 11/10/2015 at 10:54am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous