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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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FMLs submitted from Kent

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

#18492727 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (9583) - you deserved it (16659)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by firemansam - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my three housemates got into a huge fight and ended up declaring their undying hatred for each other. They now refuse to talk to each other, and I've become their go-between. Yesterday, we signed the lease for another year in the house together. FML

#15528059 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you deserved it (2872)

On 03/28/2011 at 7:52am - misc - by screwedhousemate (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

#15379416 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (43408) - you deserved it (5923)

On 03/19/2011 at 6:32am - intimacy - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

#13586987 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (16537) - you deserved it (1622)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

#12874648 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (5567) - you deserved it (21804)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm - misc - by nakedyogagirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

#12107955 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (19687) - you deserved it (2529)

On 07/25/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Luke (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was swimming in the fast lane at the pool. A guy in blue trunks was swimming slowly and really getting on everyone's nerves. I took a break, and looking around I couldn't see him. I turned to the guy next to me and said, "Finally, Mr. Blue Trunks has f**ked off." It was Mr. Blue Trunks. FML

#8550673 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (4131) - you deserved it (22115)

On 02/22/2010 at 10:35am - health - by AngelAshley (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said "hopefully never." FML

#7118046 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (1560)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:53am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, when walking to my car I was mugged. Not only did they take my phone, wallet and watch, the extra few minutes taken in my journey meant that when I got to my car, I was given a parking ticket. FML

#4498391 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (39177) - you deserved it (1551)

On 08/13/2009 at 10:00am - money - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

#2774700 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (9446) - you deserved it (50416)

On 06/10/2009 at 3:42pm - work - by crosseyed (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

#2471479 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (59893) - you deserved it (8399)

On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML

#515766 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (44067) - you deserved it (4610)

On 03/21/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Gutted. (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)



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