Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, I was on Tiger TV, our high school's monthly TV program which was shown at lunch today. I was being interviewed and at one point the reporter made me laugh. I have a goose laugh so everyone in the lunch room started laughing. Then they played it in slow motion. Twice. FML

#6722034
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (3765)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:26pm - misc - by Goosey (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that every time he has sex with me he thinks about some mutant bunny chick from "Final Fantasy." FML

#6268793
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21471) - you deserved it (3695)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

#6134819
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33131) - you deserved it (2129)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by wrongcar - United States (Kansas)

Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML

#5732047
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (6076)

On 10/08/2009 at 11:17pm - money - by StellaSanguina (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML

Today, I walked into my bedroom and realized I really needed to clean it. As I started to pick everything up off of the floor, I tripped over a shoe, slipped on a water bottle, pulled down my shoe rack and landed in my armoire. My room is now dirtier than it was when I started. FML

#5573179
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (11748)

On 09/30/2009 at 8:56pm - misc - by QuestionMyLife - United States (Kansas)

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

#5445313
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33758) - you deserved it (6111)

On 09/24/2009 at 10:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML

#5235407
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (5682)

On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - love - by CaeliLady (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

#5220953
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (12803)

On 09/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by footinmouth (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was going to ask this girl I love to homecoming. I set up a scavenger hunt, and my friend led her through it. At the end of the scavenger hunt I had a note that said, "Homecoming?" She said yes and hugged my friend. When I told her it was me who was asking, she laughed and said no. FML

#5058289
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44248) - you deserved it (9559)

On 09/05/2009 at 10:16am - love - by thisrllysucks (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

#4572721
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59091) - you deserved it (10175)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home early from work, and caught my girlfriend with my best friend. I forgave her. She thinks it's because I love her. It's because I wouldn't get laid otherwise. FML

#4466050
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31155) - you deserved it (57057)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64564) - you deserved it (9402)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: