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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, I was supposed to finally go out with my guy-friend that I have liked for a long time. He told me he would text me, and after waiting for hours for the text, I finally got it. It said, "Guess what!? I just got laid!" He forgot our date, had it off, and I congratulated him. FML

#4453766
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44549) - you deserved it (7439)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:13pm - love - by denied (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went with my fiancé to meet his parents. He was really sweet the whole way there, and once we got there he introduced me as 'the girl I'm going to marry'. His parents took one look at me and said, "Are you sure?" I laughed, because I thought they were joking. They weren't. FML

#4309429
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41989) - you deserved it (2508)

On 08/05/2009 at 2:17pm - love - by kelizabeth (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

#4231503
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56530) - you deserved it (4172)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by ididntdoanythingaight (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15711) - you deserved it (46922)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML

#4020380
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37875) - you deserved it (5887)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:25am - love - by sadgf (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend told my roommate about a trick he had used by filling nail holes with toothpaste when he moved out. When I came home with putty to fill the holes, there were blue spots all over the walls. She had filled them with blue gel toothpaste. Now I get to repaint, too. FML

#4011609
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30198) - you deserved it (2581)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go in for work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML

#3957913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46058) - you deserved it (7342)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71646) - you deserved it (5682)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, it was my fifth wedding anniversary. After an intense lovemaking session, my husband looked lovingly into my eyes and asked, "How do you feel about polygamy?" FML

#3855655
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51377) - you deserved it (3573)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:14pm - intimacy - by nonmormon (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I am currently grounded for three weeks, have no car, cell phone, or television privileges, and am not allowed to spend more than 10 minutes on the computer a day. The reason why: I was seven minutes past my 9'oclock curfew. I'm 18. FML

#3180871
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74707) - you deserved it (11168)

On 06/24/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by creeped_out_ - United States (Kansas)

Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML

#3069493
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48742) - you deserved it (5151)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by groom (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML

#2376040
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48047) - you deserved it (3230)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, just after getting off the phone with a girl I am interested in, I parked on campus and decided to eat my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

#1187593
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47004) - you deserved it (6946)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by porkieworkie (man) - United States (Kansas)



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