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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

#14161445
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (2734)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by ShaunBomb - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

#14032053
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17005) - you deserved it (28543)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

#13932750
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12241) - you deserved it (24554)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

#13601859
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29120) - you deserved it (4024)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (3007)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

#13033925
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you deserved it (2647)

On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

#12842541
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (2821)

On 08/31/2010 at 7:13pm - misc - by NowHomeless (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (128320)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

#11063786
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (5299)

On 06/08/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by CircleBruise (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

#10813076
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (37604)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God Of War 3 and that my boyfriend could borrow it. He got up, got dressed, ran to his car and told me I could walk home. FML

#9464228
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32367) - you deserved it (6184)

On 03/29/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by xxlexi_lovexx - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (2740)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)



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