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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, I was playing my guitar and singing on the street corner. I did earn money, when some guy threw a quarter out of his car window for me. It hit me in the face. I now have a circle shaped bruise under my eye. FML

#11063786
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (5040)

On 06/08/2010 at 7:58pm - misc - by CircleBruise (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML

#10813076
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7284) - you deserved it (35843)

On 05/28/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by Teresa (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God Of War 3 and that my boyfriend could borrow it. He got up, got dressed, ran to his car and told me I could walk home. FML

#9464228
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (5724)

On 03/29/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by xxlexi_lovexx - United States (Kansas)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (2584)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15853) - you deserved it (3345)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14034) - you deserved it (2205)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

#8142277
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7492) - you deserved it (13988)

On 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm - health - by unknown002 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I made a Facebook under a guy's name and I'm sending myself wall posts just so it looks like I actually talk to a guy. FML

#7514785
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (37851)

On 01/23/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Brit (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

#7433356
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20424) - you deserved it (2321)

On 01/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got my cell phone bill. I pay for 700 minutes per month. I used 9 last month. FML

#7338496
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15065) - you deserved it (14093)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

#7158571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/05/2010 at 2:18am - work - by Himynameisjacob (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was taking the final exam for one of my classes. The teacher came over to my desk, grabbed my test and ripped it in half. Then he grabbed my hand and read the note I had written on it to remind myself to pay rent. FML

#6752587
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37368) - you deserved it (5675)

On 12/14/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to Victoria's Secret to get sized. I put the card that says my size in my pocket, then went to the movies with my boyfriend. When the person at the counter asked me to hand them my ticket, I reached into my pocket and handed it to them. It wasn't the ticket. It was my bra size. FML

#6738638
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7672) - you deserved it (26265)

On 12/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by StrawberryJuicey (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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