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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (2210)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

#14284666
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (7266)

On 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Hannah - United States (Kansas)

Today, I'm spending the night with the guy I've been interested in for a while. Instead of sleeping in the same bed together, he insists that I sleep in another room because he "doesn't want to be tempted to do anything." So, I'm alone, in my best lingerie, in his little brother's room. FML

#14189329
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31894) - you deserved it (7770)

On 12/13/2010 at 9:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

#14165047
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23617) - you deserved it (5487)

On 12/11/2010 at 11:16am - kids - by blueberry_hill (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my parents brought me an ice cream birthday cake. I would think after 23 years they would remember my lactose intolerance. FML

#14161445
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29254) - you deserved it (2743)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:11am - misc - by ShaunBomb - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

#14032053
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17082) - you deserved it (28653)

On 11/30/2010 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML

#13932750
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12316) - you deserved it (24681)

On 11/22/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was rejected by a girl when she told me she is not ready to date. We met on a dating website. FML

#13601859
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30276) - you deserved it (4128)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:55pm - love - by WTF - United States (Kansas)

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

#13083989
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30127) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/17/2010 at 7:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

#13033925
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33918) - you deserved it (2741)

On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roommate woke me up during afternoon nap to tell me that I need to move out. His reason: "Our political differences will likely escalate to violence." FML

#12842541
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23638) - you deserved it (2835)

On 08/31/2010 at 7:13pm - misc - by NowHomeless (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my best friend who I've known since high school is getting married. I'm supposed to give a toast during the reception about how great the bride and groom are. I've been sleeping with the groom for the past 7 months. FML

#12294723
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10506) - you deserved it (129907)

On 08/03/2010 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by Emily (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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