Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML

#17996860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by Carl - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (2428)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

#17460789
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26279) - you deserved it (2345)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by thatguythere858 (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37592) - you deserved it (5610)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34939) - you deserved it (4807)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

#16751936
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26627) - you deserved it (4361)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:20pm - love - by youngblood (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I came home from work to find my computer smashed into a hundred pieces. My dad threw it at my mom because they were having a fight and my computer was the closest thing to throw. He refuses to fix it. FML

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23908) - you deserved it (43044)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML

#15959633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36813) - you deserved it (12338)

On 04/28/2011 at 2:22am - love - by ummno (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

#15635738
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10801) - you deserved it (39776)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Username - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

#15477659
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (4246)

On 03/25/2011 at 1:50am - animals - by caseyj (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (11872)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to point out the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign at my work to an extremely old, seemingly intoxicated man wearing an ill fitting speedo. FML

#14509671
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (2209)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:35pm - work - by niiiiiiiiiikki - United States (Kansas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: