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FMLs submitted from Kansas

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

#19611188
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34443) - you deserved it (5267)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by rj - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (1577)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was addressed by name by the liquor store clerk. I've never told him my name. He's just seen my ID many times. FML

#18837494
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7253) - you deserved it (25474)

On 01/17/2012 at 7:21pm - health - by Matchtopia - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to get my ass in shape and went to the gym. I got motion-sickness on the elliptical. FML

#18778182
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20104) - you deserved it (5115)

On 01/11/2012 at 7:31pm - health - by tbw (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46677) - you deserved it (3234)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into trouble with his mother for me still being at their house at 1:00 am. I'm 24, he's 22 and we really were studying. FML

#18492041
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29252) - you deserved it (4346)

On 12/12/2011 at 2:44am - love - by smurfisurfer1 - United States (Kansas)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47156) - you deserved it (5389)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my landlord compared me to his idiot son for not plunging a toilet. This is the same toilet he explicitly told me not to plunge last week, because of a possible leak into the basement. We have been peeing outside for a week waiting on him. FML

#17996860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (2175)

On 10/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by Carl - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

#17743862
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (2357)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I woke up with a foul stench forcing its way up my nostrils. It turns out our septic tank broke, and is now leaking into our backyard, and sadly, our basement. I live in the basement. FML

#17460789
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (2335)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by thatguythere858 (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37397) - you deserved it (5600)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

#16922992
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34788) - you deserved it (4793)

On 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason was because he's moving away for college. That won't be for another year. FML

#16751936
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26469) - you deserved it (4349)

On 06/19/2011 at 9:20pm - love - by youngblood (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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